Philibuster

There are horrible ways to die and there are quick and easy ways to die. If for some reason you decide to exit life stage left then it’s normally a good idea to try for one of the easier to do/quick/painless ways about it. You know pull a trigger and bam you’re done. Cutting your wrists is pretty quick but only if you get a good cut the first time around. Still it is a common method. Stabbing yourself repeatedly with a blunt object is not high on the list of ways I want to die ever. Any method that involves the groin region is also a big DO NOT WANT! Putting the two together is exactly what a window washer did in the UK. If you work as a window washer on the side of a freaking building you don’t need to look very far for a way to kill yourself.

Just jump.

But instead he decided to take a giant, blunt,  souvenir pencil that belonged to his mother and stab himself in the groin until he died from blood loss.

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My keyboard can’t accurately describe my screams when reading this article.