Philibuster

HELLo I would like to take a moment to drop a bombsHELL on you. There happens to be a town in Texas that is HELLbent to do away with the HELLacious term of HELLo that is bringing on the HELLfire and unleasing the HELLhounds who chase down and drive everyone into the deepest HELLholes. And you might ask what on earth is  wrong with HELLo? Well it’s because it has embedded within its’ cheerful greeting and innocent outlook is a HELLuva horrible evil word, HELL. That’s right for years we have been innocently greeting each other but little did we know that we are actually doing the DEVIL’s work. Sowing the seeds of evil in our brothers, sisters, coworkers, and even total strangers. In a nutsHELL, this has to stop. We must fight against the evil, force back the demons, send holy sHELLs of divine light and goodness to drive the HELLhounds back to unsHELL the evil that has been right in front of our very faces for so long. We must be HELLbent on destroying and removing this problem before it spreads even further. To replace tainted term we must use a word that is just as just as HELLo is evil, to this end the term HEAVEN-o has been coined. This new and good term is already being used the Courthouse, which we know is just an extension of the church. Where the divine word of God is processed into the Justice of Man. This my friends is just a small victory, we must proceed posthaste in order to get this to catch on in the rest of the country, and then THE WORLD!

Found Via Pharyngula. The main article can be found here.