Philibuster

Ah I like a good smack down of stupid claims. This one is a pretty good side by side of the 2012 garbage about the world ending. It lays out a few of the many unadvised claims about what will happen in 2012 and on the other side it shows actual information backed by evidence and facts. But you know don’t take my word for that or the chart’s either. Go look it up yourself, and if you go to any quack sites to find your information verify what they say.

Found via BadAstronomy.

Ah, South Africa. Land of my birth and family. Also the land of cars with flame throwers and various other theft deterrent devices. The new hotness now, ATMs equipped with pepper spray. If you start screwing with the ATM then it’s going to call the police and blast you with liquid pain. This can only end as well as the flame throwers on cars did. Hilarious. Not even before the article ends do I get a return on that prediction. Three workers doing maintenance on the ATM set it off.

I think this is funny but really it’s kinda a stupid idea. I mean you can easily cover or block the spray nozzle. Sure it would work the first couple times but people should wise up. Oh wait I forgot people are stupid so while some people would figure out that a simple sheet of plastic or whatever will stop it I’m sure there are going to be a ton of stories about how some retard with a stick got blasted into tears and puke.

I also think that it should be extended to blast people who take too long. Many a time I have wished that the ATM would just punch the moron holding up the line because they can’t figure out why they don’t have any money in their account.

Link.

Alright so I’ve briefly talked about miracle berries here and mentioned that I would throw a miracle berry party. Well I bought some and put together a little gathering at my house. The plan was for about 10 people myself included to show up at my house and drink and eat a bunch of sour stuff after using the berries. (I’m going to just keep on calling them berries even though they were the tablets you can buy off of think geek.)

I bought a bunch of stuff for this event and well out of the 10 people that I had thought of a few of them canceled a day before so I had some open slots, I invited two other people from work but it was on short notice and they couldn’t come. I understood I did tell them like the same day and they work late, but the other two people from work that I gave good notice for didn’t come citing excuses but I seem to hear that all the time. They suck, and the berries turned out to be awesome so it’s their loss.

Total turn out four people plus a baby. I really need to get some more reliable friends. But anyways.

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Haha I saw this at Failblog and it rocks.

This looks like something either I, or my friend John would do.

HELLo I would like to take a moment to drop a bombsHELL on you. There happens to be a town in Texas that is HELLbent to do away with the HELLacious term of HELLo that is bringing on the HELLfire and unleasing the HELLhounds who chase down and drive everyone into the deepest HELLholes. And you might ask what on earth is  wrong with HELLo? Well it’s because it has embedded within its’ cheerful greeting and innocent outlook is a HELLuva horrible evil word, HELL. That’s right for years we have been innocently greeting each other but little did we know that we are actually doing the DEVIL’s work. Sowing the seeds of evil in our brothers, sisters, coworkers, and even total strangers. In a nutsHELL, this has to stop. We must fight against the evil, force back the demons, send holy sHELLs of divine light and goodness to drive the HELLhounds back to unsHELL the evil that has been right in front of our very faces for so long. We must be HELLbent on destroying and removing this problem before it spreads even further. To replace tainted term we must use a word that is just as just as HELLo is evil, to this end the term HEAVEN-o has been coined. This new and good term is already being used the Courthouse, which we know is just an extension of the church. Where the divine word of God is processed into the Justice of Man. This my friends is just a small victory, we must proceed posthaste in order to get this to catch on in the rest of the country, and then THE WORLD!

Found Via Pharyngula. The main article can be found here.

What kind of retard puts a bunch of needles under their skin only to be found years later when you experience sharp pains. Well this guy.

They pulled over a hundred needles out of his body. From all parts of his body. Crazyness I don’t understand how you wouldn’t notice them as you moved around. Well, actually he did notice them cause the pain was why he went to the doctors in the first place, but not for years. Here’s the article.

The Sun, while as stupid as it is, has an article I thought good. It’s completely self serving so I won’t be taking apart their “study” method. IT workers are apparently better in bed than most other professions. Hey I’m into IT stuff, total geek, and it’s not news to me that geeks are good in bed. I’ve been saying this forever, cause well I’m a geek. I just wish that well chicks would realize this beforehand instead of being so surprised afterwards. It would help with the second part of that survey, the part that doesn’t fit me, IT workers are the third most likely to have sex 3 or more times a week. Yeah I wish.

It probably took many years to develop the recipe for Greek Fire so that ancient armies could burn stuff/people on water/in water. That recipe has been lost to the ravages of time. (And their cut throat absolute secrecy about it)  But for one family in Colorado getting water to burn is as simple as turning on a tap and lighting a match. Yes, that’s right the municipal water supply delivers hot death and destruction at will. Need a flame thrower? Grab your garden hose and a lighter.

But Phil, you say, water doesn’t burn. Why yes, you are mostly correct. For that I shall award you a single point. You can get another and possibly a cookie if you know anything about the experiment that does actually make water (sort of) burn.

Anyways so it seems that a natural gas well in the area is leaking into their supply and this is not “unheard of.” Also a massive thing to note here is that this couple went and begged the local gas companies to figure out where it is coming from and fix it. At first they were met with a nice official denial. They have since come around and tried to figure it out and are working on installing a water purifier device at the home.

Wait what? The couple didn’t just march in and start swinging lawyers about demanding millions? They just asked for help and to fix it as it is clearly not their fault. Even though the lady of the house has developed chronic health problems. (Most likely from drinking the ill water, although as a true skeptic I’ll wait until the proper tests are done to be sure, which she is going through right now) What’s wrong with them they are sitting on a gold mine a well of damn near epic amount of cash. People that’s not fire coming from your taps it’s pure gold. I may have to reread the article I feel as if this couple is not in Colorado but some foreign country.

Oh wait was that part about the Gas companies initially giving a nice big “Fuck off” to the couple even though it’s their fault. My faith in America has been restored.

Anyways here’s a picture that to illustrate just how much you would crap your pants if you went to brush your teeth and this happened.

Last though here. If this is in all of their water then I imagine taking a crap in their house is tantamount to transporting an armed nuclear warhead by UPS.

Thank you Gizmodo.

I try and learn something new every day. I don’t always but mostly I do. Whether or not I’ll be able to remember said minor small trivia stuff at a later date is not important. Nor is how critical this new knowledge is. What is important is that I gleaned knowledge that was previously unknown to me dispensed from a random source I either sought out or came upon.

I like that little “huh, that’s interesting” moment. It’s sort of like a drug. Feels good. But much like a bad batch acid you get off a corner junkie that sends you on a world class trip of crazy, somethings you just don’t really want to experience.

See look at this really neat image of some really small bug or something. Everyone loves these images they are slightly disturbing and gross and weird and show you things that you could never ever see with your own eyes.

It’s a beetles penis.

I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

Yeah, learning new stuff doesn’t feel so good now.

I can thank Pharyngula for this.

Ok I’ve been having some really really weird dreams lately. Anyone that has ever talked to me about my dreams knows that when I dream they are extremely vivid. I have all my senses except for smell, but I can feel stuff just like when I’m awake (except for pain thankfully) I can hear things fully not like that sort of voice in your head type stuff but what seems like a true reproduction of sound. Oh and of course everything is in true wonderful color. There have been dreams that I have honestly not been able to tell the difference from being awake and even a couple that worked their way into what feel like actual memories instead of just dreams. (more…)